The Breakfast Club - July 1, 2010

So the 'woodman', Algore had a personal request for his masseuse...what, to have his 'pencil' sharpened?
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Online headline: "Tiger Woods-Elin Nordegren Divorce Settlement Reportedly Final" -- Hmm, so he got the head....and now the shaft... Erin has a new grip on life.
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L-E headline: "Layoffs of census workers will distort jobs data" -- Wrong! It will correct the distortion caused by actually counting temporary jobs as 'new jobs' in the first place.
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Online stories of late: Jesus did not die on a cross, and Cleopatra did not die of a snake bite. Hmmm, somebody must have gotten these snake oil stories taking a revisionist version of a Harvard history class.
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General Petraeus' comment calling the war in Afghanistan 'an enduring war' contradicts potUS Nero-bama's campaign promise to pull'em out by 2011. Lets put that in perspective: When a General speaks, people expect his word to be kept; when potUS Nero-bama speaks from either side of his mouth, only uber-libs believe it will be carried out.
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Today, GA has stricter laws governing all texting and teens talking on cell phones while driving. Good luck with that. The only way to try to curtail teens talking/texting while driving will be to only issue driver's licenses when people turn 20.
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If you were skeptical about the original "Stim-YOU-Lie" bill, seeing how only 43% of it has been 'spent' by now, the bulk won't be spent until 2011, just in time to buy votes for the 2012 potUS Nero-bama re-election campaign. Sorta like the Public Safety LOST revenue...just a political slush fund.
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Online commentary headline: "How to Be a Russian Spy Living in the US" -- Hmm, I can think of a couple of ways...register as a DIM/DUMBorat, or put an Obama-Biden bumper sticker on your car.
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Looks like Al Franken has rejoined Saturday Night Live. His first skit was to look asleep as a Senate confirmation for a US Supreme Court justice was going on.. Ooops, my bad, it wasn't a skit.
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Kristen Stewart, centerpiece of the Twilight Trilogy, should be the poster child for bad choices teen girls make in relationships. She's two-timing a wolf and a bloodsucker.
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L-E headline: "After 25 years, CNN seeks Larry King’s replacement " -- Hmmm, how about a virtual aquarium or fireplace? Either would draw higher numbers of viewers.
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L-E headline: "Maggots force plane back to gate in Atlanta " -- Ooops, my bad. Thought some DIM/DUMBorat re-election committee strategists had been discovered.
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Alternative point about above headline/story: "Maggots force plane back to gate in Atlanta * U.S. Airways spokesman Todd Lehmacher says the maggots were in a container of spoiled meat that a passenger brought onto the plane Monday. " -- I know airlines have stopped serving meals and such, but how did a container of spoiled meat & maggots clear the TSA inspection?
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L-E headline: "Van der Sloot indicted for extortion " -- Ooops, my bad. Thought it read "existing"...well, it could and probably should have.
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A cartoon panel, "Pickles", today says 96% of the DNA of humans and chimpanzees is the same. So...Mexican drug dealers and Arizona citizens are both 100% humans, but that doesn't mean they are both of the same human race. Same is true for Muslim jihadists... not even close!
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